On Sunday, we had spent the day hanging out with a friend while our four and a half-year old son was with his grandmother. My husband (Chris) had gone to get Tristan (our son) from his grandmother, and I waited at home. Chris called me to tell me that it looked like Tristan was sick and was having diarrhea and a tummy ache. I was six days over due, and although I still had some time… I knew that if baby didn’t come by 42 weeks, I was going to lose my opportunity for the home birth I so desperately wanted. I was thankful though that I wasn’t in labor since my son was sick. We went out to Whole Foods in the hopes to find something to calm his little tummy. While we were there – he threw up all over the baby aisle. Oh dear. Not good. At that moment I had this funny thought about Murphy’s Law. If I was going to go into labor… watch, it’ll be on this night of all nights.

“As I would feel it come, I would lean over a counter or onto my poster bed and sway my hips, and Chris would often come and put counter pressure to my sacrum, hand press, or do other comfort measures like hip squeezed. It helped so much”

And how right that thought was! We got Tristan to sleep fairly easily and then sat down to watch some grown up TV shows as usual before our own bedtime. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions off and on for weeks, and Sunday was no different. I was sitting there laughing at the show when suddenly I felt wet (at about 11:30pm)… and I knew I certainly hadn’t peed myself. I still wasn’t getting much in the line of contractions… but I knew my water had broken so I figured it wouldn’t be long. A little after midnight I started with a mild lower back ache. This was so different from my first labor, which started very quickly with strong contractions from the start… but I knew this must be early labor. Chris and I called and messaged the people who would be involved in the birth to let them know that things looked imminent. Baby was on the way! I decided I wanted to try to rest since I had no idea if this would be a shorter delivery like my first son (even though he was posterior!) or a longer one since I was having signs of early labor. I had only about 5 hours of sleep the night before and was already pretty tired.

By 12:30am I knew for sure that labor had started in earnest.  I was having minute long contractions about every 2-3 minutes when I was upright, but they’d slow down to 6-8 minutes and over a minute long if I laid down. With my first son my labor pattern was never text-book. (With him from the start I had minute plus contractions every 2-3 minutes, and had him in 8 hours 45 minutes.) I was trying to rest, but I was failing miserably. I’d just doze off and then be woken up by strong contractions. I stayed laying down until about 3am the best I could. I wanted to let Chris rest as long as possible since I knew he would also have a hard job supporting me. At 3:30am even laying down, the contractions were coming on average every 5 minutes, and lasting over a minute. They were getting harder to cope with too on my own. I kept visualizing a flower blossoming open… thinking open thoughts. I did this with my first labor and felt it helped a great deal. I woke Chris, called my midwife Kristy and told her how things were going. She listened over the phone to a couple of contractions and how I was coping, and decided it was time for her to head over. Chris called our birth photographer and also told her to come join us. By now, I was making very low sounds with each wave as it would come. They were still manageable so long as I could be up and moving. As I would feel it come, I would lean over a counter or onto my poster bed and sway my hips, and Chris would often come and put counter pressure to my sacrum, hand press, or do other comfort measures like hip squeezed. It helped so much. I felt like surely I must be making good progress by now, right?! Well, Kristy showed up in record time (maybe at most 30 minutes from when we called at most – probably shorter). She checked me and said I was at 3cm but was easily stretching to 5cm. I thought… “Gosh! That’s all? I thought second babies came faster than the first one!” (Side note… with my first I was at 6cm after only 1.5 hours to 2 hours of labor)

Chris comforts and supports Melissa through each contraction.

She suggested I lay down on my side since it made for stronger (albeit harder to handle) contractions. I did, and they spaced out again a little bit… and I napped here and there. I felt SO sleepy. I also started feeling nauseous… so drinking my “labor-aid” was less appealing. I got up and wanted to be upright and move my hips again during the waves (that’s how the contractions felt at this point to me). I would sit on my birth ball between and rest my head on my pillow on my bathroom counter. As I’d feel the wave start I’d stand and just make low ahhhh sounds and sway, and Chris kept up his hard work of counter pressure and trying his best to keep me coping well. I could do it.

I started feeling a little restless and decided I wanted to get in the tub. My lower back was starting to really hurt… and that little voice in my head told me that the hot water would feel SO good. Chris asked Kristy if that sounded like a good plan at this point, and she agreed that it was good if that’s what I wanted.

I got in and had instant relief for a little while. As a wave would come I would half squat and rock side to side… and that seemed to help. After a bit, I asked for Chris to join me as the waves were getting much harder to handle. I kept my sense of humor almost all the way through labor. Between contractions, as an example… he said “You know, I’d say something here… but I don’t think it’s a good idea” and I’d chuckle and say “Smart man!” or he’d accidentally push on my belly with his knee (I was sort of squatting between his legs) and I’d say “let’s not anger the beast now!”

I was having more and more trouble dealing with the pain. I won’t lie… it was tough, tough work and I was getting impatient! I asked to be checked because I was hoping it would be time to push (with my first child, I never got the urge to push… I was just told it was time to try. I wasn’t sure I’d know the urge when it came.) So I got out of the tub and Kristy checked me. She said that I was only at 7cm, but I was feeling some different sort of contractions (they seemed lower and shorter in length to me… but incredibly powerful) and incredible pressure… and thought that maybe I wanted to push a little. This was a little after 7am. I was laying on my side (this seemed to me the most comfortable at that moment… I didn’t want to go back into the tub. I started feeling a huge urge to push right after being checked… like I REALLY needed to go to the bathroom.

“He placed her on my belly and I couldn’t help but cry with joy ‘My baby!!! My baby!!!!!!’ “

I started to say I couldn’t do it. Kristy took my hand and locked eyes with me and told me I was doing it, while Chris pressed on my lower back. It helped a lot. After 4 contractions our baby shot into this world. Baby came all at once… head, and body came so quickly with my last push (and a mighty cry from me, I won’t be ashamed to admit). There wasn’t time to feel the ring of fire this time. Kristy removed the cord from around her – as she had been wrapped up a little bit (wild thing that she is!) and told Chris to get the baby and give her to me. He placed her on my belly and I couldn’t help but cry with joy “My baby!!! My baby!!!!!!” After a little bit I had to know… was my baby a girl or boy?? I had thought from the start of pregnancy the baby would be a girl. In almost all of my dreams it was a girl. The moment of truth… baby was… a GIRL!!! I knew her name instantly. Gwenevere. The midwives (Kristy, and her assistant midwife Alex) helped clean us up a little bit. Gwen stayed on me the whole time. Then Kristy asked if I was having any more contractions for the birth of the placenta… but no, I didn’t feel any. I didn’t with my first child either. The cord had stopped pulsing, so Chris got to cut it. After that, I pushed and the placenta was born. It was indeed ready. It was very small, but complete. I bled a lot more this time, but still in the normal range. I also had after pains… this was also new to me. Overall, I am still so happy with how things went. I got everything I wanted in my birth (and our son slept through all of it!). I trusted in my body and had some wonderful support from my midwife and my husband. In the last 20 minutes of labor I went from 7cm to having a baby born. Wow!

Each of my home births have been memorable. I feel so very happy and empowered. I was a whole lot more active with this birth. I didn’t even tear this time (I did with my son)! I was shocked given how quickly she came! Tristan (our son) came in about an hour after his sister was born, and was at first unsure. He was overwhelmed with all the people and the idea that there was a new baby. Finally he was convinced to come meet her. It was instant love for us all. It was truly a family event.